Thump Trump once, it’s all he deserves

(This one’s a little late but hey, so’s my mortgage payment…)

Here’s to the Earnest Weasel, David Brooks, and all the other insiders who get paid big bucks to bloviate. Thanks, guys, for wasting thousands of words speculating that Donald Trump might end his trash-TV show and run for president. Special thanks to the clown/pundits who predicted he definitely would run. (You were one of them, Weasel.)

The mainstream media shies away from iconoclasts but it embraces certain sideshow freaks who can be counted on to attract the attention of Middle America. Trump, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin are only a few of the freaks who repeatedly blow the same hot air, on the birther issue and other lies, and yet never fail to make it into the news.

The fact that Trump presided to some extent over three Atlantic City casinos that went bankrupt multiple times was worth reporting, as was his failed attempt to open a casino in Philadelphia. The fact that he was making false noises about running for president — an obvious ploy to boost his TV ratings — was not worth reporting, except maybe once, on Page 10 in the C section.

It’s not news that Trump is the prototypical Ugly American. He comes from privilege and brags he’s a self-made man. His wealth is a vehicle for imposing his vulgarity on the world. His arrogance is matched only by his ignorance, which is evident every time he comments on a serious issue.

My favorite Trump story is from my Atlantic City friend Sterling and dates from well over a decade ago. Sterling was heading one way on the Boardwalk, The Donald was heading the other way, surrounded as always by his goons. They all wore business suits and identical red ties. As he passed them, Sterling said, “Yo, Donald, you got a special on the ties?” The biggest of the goons made a move toward Sterling and appeared ready to throttle him, but another goon pulled the big guy back into lockstep.

That’s Trump — Mussolini with a muskrat on his head, surrounded by goons marching in lockstep, protecting him from uncontrolled exposure to real people.

And that’s the one and only time I’ll mention this ridiculous creep, unless his shaky real estate empire implodes.