How many male novelists does it take to make a joke?


My friend Susie, who has read some of my fiction, sent me a bunch of male-novelist jokes from The Toast, all of them in the “how many” format. Like this:

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: This lightbulb is inauthentic.

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: He straightened his tie. He had lost, but in a romantic way, which meant that he had won. “I’m going to do a pushup,” he announced to his tie. His tie respected him for it, and secretly wished that it could have sex with him.

Here’s one of my own:

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. They retreated at dusk. He ran 30 miles, until his shins were splintered and his lungs on fire. The pain felt almost as good as a bullet. He sat and waited for the commissary mule with the keg of wine to catch up.

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2 Responses to How many male novelists does it take to make a joke?

  1. Sterling Brown says:

    And then he saw her, holding the lightbulb. Or did he, holding the light bulb, see her? Or did the lightbulb, holding her, see him? Or was it too damn dark to see anyone until he and Julian inserted the bulb ever so gently and commenced that magic twist he remembered so well from their epic but brief affair in Acapulco. Thereafter he spent the next twenty minutes wondering if the preceding sentence required a question mark. Bored, she unscrewed the bulb and walked away. Walked away.

    • oddmanout215 says:

      And the dark was like the grave. No, it was worse, because he could not find his drink. It occurred to him that character is what you are in the dark. Or is it what you do in the dark? Either way, he was screwed. He couldn’t do anything without his drink.

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