Boyz II Men to make sexy time in Russia


Russian President Vladimir Putin addressing his fellow citizens: “I have beeg announcement. American sexy band Boys II Men come to Moscow this week. Show love, comrades.”

OK, Putin didn’t exactly say that, but the Grammy-winning R&B band really is flying halfway around world on special sexy mission. From Britain’s Daily Mail:

…Putin apparently hopes to harness the all-American boyband’s raw romantic charm through a gig in Moscow to encourage their legions of Russian fans to reproduce ahead of Valentine’s Day to songs such as “I’ll Make Love To You” and “On Bended Knee.”

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Band members Wanya Morris, Shawn Stockman and Nathan Morris will take a break from their Las Vegas hotel residency and rehearsals for their upcoming tour with New Kids on the Block and 98 Degrees to perform in Moscow on February 6.

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Despite being the worlds largest country at over 6.5 million square miles, high rates of smoking, alcoholism, pollution and poverty, together with falling [birth] rates, mean Russia’s population will shrink to 116 million by 2050 from 142 million last year.

Russia also has the world’s third-largest heroin abuse rate and accounts for a third of all heroin deaths worldwide…

Funny guy, that Putin, especially for an ex-KBG agent. Maybe the Boyz will do their sappy 1992 ballad “End of the Road”: Although we’ve come/To the end of the road/Still I can’t let go/It’s unnatural/You belong to me/I belong to you.

Da! Pass bottle, Mooshka. Now we make sexy time.

Footnote: Meanwhile, America’s population is booming. President Obama should organize a special concert here to discourage reproduction, maybe with Nine Inch Nails performing Ghosts.

End note: No truth to the rumor that Pussy Riot’s Nadezhda Tolokonnikova will be released from prison in time to open the Boyz II Men show.

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