Onion exclusive: Tom Joad goes to Mars


I sometimes kid the Onion for taking a lame approach to political satire — for shooting at battleships with a BB gun. However, its social satire is often right on the money:

RUMSON, NJ—After more than a year of writing and recording, Bruce Springsteen released his 18th studio album Tuesday, a concept record titled Red Dust that explores the everyday lives and struggles of immigrant workers scraping by in the 23rd-century carbonate mines on Mars.

According to the 61-year-old songwriter, the new tracks depict rugged Martian colonists as they come to question what’s happened to their lives, finding themselves saddled with unpayable debts and hard-pressed to put food on the table for their embryonically harvested juvenile-clones…

“…I try to write about universal feelings and desires,” Springsteen continued. “There’s tragedy, grief, redemption. But there’s also nostalgia for one’s carefree younger days of racing souped-up hyper-thrust cruisers through the Valles Marineris canyon, and for nights spent chasing Martian girls along the rusting boardwalks of a crater-side spaceport.”

To which I can only add:

This interplanetary life for me is through
You ought to quit this scene, too..

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One Response to Onion exclusive: Tom Joad goes to Mars

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