Cheez Whiz is legal, so why not pot?


The Philadelphia Daily News recently had fun reporting a story about a drug bust involving a manager at Jim’s Steaks. You know, the usual jokes about South Philly accents and dining preferences:

HOW YA LIKE yer cheesesteak…? Whiz Wit’? Maybe with a side of cocaine and Xanax…? Such a delicacy would have been possible at South Street’s Jim’s Steaks, if not for police intervention… Over the summer, investigators uncovered alleged drug dealing inside the steak joint and arrested one of Jim’s managers, Andre McMillian.

McMillian was nabbed by cops on Aug. 4 as he supervised the cooks preparing cheesesteaks behind the counter, said Lt. Joseph Bologna, one of the arresting officers… The narcotics unit confiscated cocaine, marijuana, 272 Percocet pills, 95 Xanax pills, 21 Endocet pills, $2,400 and McMillian’s Chevrolet Venture, according to court documents. Police estimated that the seizure was worth $25,300…

Twenty-three grand is small cheese fries in the world of drug-running, but I guess Daily News couldn’t resist using a story that led with a cheesesteak-wit’-Xanax-on-the-side joke. Reporter Regina Medina (a nom de plume?) noted that this “delicacy” would have been possible “if not for police intervention,” but isn’t it likely the guy was dealing for a long time before the bust? This is South Street, after all, not Ocean Grove, NJ.

Anyway, what’s the big deal about Xanax and pot, aside from the risk of being busted if you don’t pay off the right people? Can those drugs be any worse for the human body than artery-clogging Cheez Whiz and minute steaks? I doubt it.

Just to clarify: I’m not dissing Jim’s Steaks. Whenever someone stops me on the street to ask where Pat’s or Geno’s is — it happens often, tourists believe the hype about those two steak sandwich joints — I tell them go to Jim’s, it’s better, if only for aesthetic reasons. The Art Deco facade at Jim’s is way cooler than the neon nightmare of Pat’s and Geno’s, at Ninth and Passyunk. Standing down there at night feels like being on drugs — really bad drugs.

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This entry was posted in Great Recession, humor, livable cities, mainstream media, Philadelphia and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Cheez Whiz is legal, so why not pot?

  1. Pingback: Suburban Guerrilla » Blog Archive » Cheez Whiz is legal, so why not pot?

  2. Susie Madrak says:

    I always tell them any neighborhood cheesesteak shop usually has equally good sandwiches without the hassle.

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